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Postscript: One of their spouses eventually discovered the incriminating e-mails, and the family affair quickly turned into a family nightmare. We humans are experts at creating illusions for ourselves.

In this affair one party is available but the other isn't.

With Tiger Woods back in the game after his "bad decisions" admission on ESPN, I couldn't help but recall George (not his real name), who had consulted me about how to deal with his new affair.

Given that new reality, I put together what I've learned about psychology of affairs -- their meaning and their consequences for people in our current culture. We ended up in bed, as well as a lot of other places! The liberating and compelling feeling from this kind of affair, though, can mask hidden emotional conflicts.They thought they could keep it secret; that neither would make any demands on the other and it would be perfectly safe. Most "family" affairs are interwoven with family dysfunctions and buried resentments.Neither Bill nor Tina, his sister-in-law, looked seriously at the issues in their respective marriages or inter-locked families; or even how dangerous it was.George began by telling me that "She was standing off by herself during a conference break, leaning against a wall, sipping coffee."As I walked by, our eyes met and I felt a sudden jolt -- a rush of energy, real connection.

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