Dating for parents of special needs children
Sadly, a lot of relationships collapse before they even get off the ground because the girl can’t handle the sudden decrease in daily texts and instead of dealing with it, she lashes out at the guy and demands explanations for every text he doesn’t reply to.
The mistake that many make is thinking that the sudden drop in texts means he’s losing interest or doesn’t care. Most often, he’s just settling back into his normal routine. You can spend all day going back and forth with some guy about nonsense.
The fact that a man doesn’t text you as much or as often as you’d like doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you – he’s usually just focusing on something else and most men have a difficult time seeing beyond a given task at hand.
This is hard for most women to understand because women can switch from one task to the next and back again with much more ease.
I don’t know what the biggest relationship concern was back in the days of touch-tone phones, but these days, it’s all about a guy’s texting habits: why he used to text so much in the beginning and then stopped, why he takes so long to reply, why he disappears for days at a time, why his texts are so short, etc., etc.
The really sad/funny thing is that men have NO idea how intensely their texting habits are being scrutinized. There are all kinds of reasons why this is such an issue for women and why men are so oblivious to it – reasons we’ve discussed at length in previous articles– but the takeaway is that this whole thing is a non-issue for men. Yeah, they’ll text a lot in the beginning when they’re trying to win you over, but it’s not sustainable or realistic to continue at that level indefinitely.
The opposite is also true: a guy may be saying something with his words and instead, express how he’s feeling through actions.
We get a lot of questions that go something like: “I’m really confused, my boyfriend says he’s crazy about me and I’m the most amazing/wonderful/smart/funny/etc girl he’s ever dated but he always blows me off and he can’t hang out and doesn’t have time to talk on the phone or text back or take me out on dates and I really only see him late at night when he feels like it.” OK, maybe not exactly like that, but close enough.
Men intuitively know that words are important to women.
In the beginning, it’s all new and fresh and if he’s really into you he will be thinking about you a lot and will feel the urge to text you frequently.
After some time has passed and the relationship is a bit more established, this urge isn’t as pressing and it begins to feel like work.