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This feels like as good a time as any to share that I genuinely believe Anthony Weiner is my soul mate. Yet when I read the texts I thought, “This man is obviously great in bed.” And then I came reading them. I became so infatuated with Weiner that eventually even my therapist told me to shut up about him.For me, the turn-on is the idea that someone has no moral obstacle between them and their sexual desires—even if it sometimes gets them in trouble.He often slept with multiple women in a day, some of whom were porn stars, which I was far too impressed by.Once, I asked him whether he’d ever slept with an escort, and he responded flatly, “Yes, many.In our inevitable fight afterward, his defense was literally: “We weren’t having sex.I was just teaching her how to give a blow job.” It made me think that while Casanova may enrich the story of your life, he isn’t the one you stick with long term.It’s no secret that female sexuality has long been policed—ya know, slut shaming and the sexual double standard and all that good stuff.But today we have we created an environment where (allegedly predatory) male sexuality needs to be policed, and (allegedly passive) female sexuality needs to be protected—which seems equally tragic to me.

You can be a hedonist and also be a decent human being who communicates your desires in a way that doesn’t offend anyone. Also at the brunch was an ex-lover of mine—“Scott,” a 35-year-old filmmaker and a sex maniac (obviously), who, in addition to his propensity for polyamory, also has taste for transgression—namely, a taste for women who are considerably older, considerably younger, and considerably married.

“It’s a bad cultural moment to be an overtly sexual man,” Scott told me, checking out a woman over my shoulder.

“There’s obviously a distinction between a man who has a lot of sex with different women, and a predator.

But I dealt with it—I mean, I knew what I’d signed up for.

Until I hit my breaking point: the time he slept with my best friend—and was annoyed by the fact that I was annoyed.

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