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It's very hard to distrust someone who seems to constantly be going out of his way to please you!
A key tool to use here is the "5 to 1 rule." This means that before you say anything negative to your spouse, you must have expressed at least five positive things.
What you have to learn to do is say something like, "Let me make sure that I've understood what you just said.
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I can sum up the essence of building trust in one idea: Create a safe emotional space for your spouse.
If you are not actively working to build a safe emotional space, than you are probably building an unsafe one.